I Haven't Walked

Well... I did my weekly weigh in, and again I'm stalled.  I'm SO tired of this regular re-occurance!  I would rather lose 1 lb, or 1/2 lb a week than stay the same for 2 weeks in a row.  I'm sick of it.  It's hard not to get discouraged but I'm just going to get distracted instead.  

Accountability is a huge thing for me... and I'll be honest, with my blog-world, I haven't walked in a few weeks.  I know... it's horrible.  I have been doing sit-ups and arm curls with weights - trying to flatten the flab... but the walking has gone amiss.  I want to blame the weather, it's chilly here in South Dakota now... but I LOVE the fall, so that'd be a hinky excuse.  I love the leaves, the breeze, the sights of fall - so walking should be more enjoyable at this point.  Ugh... all I can blame is myself and my laziness.

I've actually been stuck in my depression pretty bad lately, which makes me stay home more.  It's easier to avoid people than to explain my mental health issues... so I just stay away.  Yes, walking outside would be so beneficial to my physical and mental well-being, but it's SUCH a hurdle to get out and actually DO IT.  Anyone with true depression will understand that.... anyone who doesn't understand will say "You just need to do it"... "think positive and you'll feel better"... oh I could go on.  But... this 2 week weight-loss stall might be enough motivation for me to walk, walk, walk.  I need to!  Ugh!

I DO have a positive side to things... I am now a size smaller than I was 2 weeks ago.  I bought some small/tight jeans at Country Peddler last week (I mentioned my shopping day in previous post...) and purposefully bought jeans a bit too small, knowing eventually they'll fit.  Five days after I bought them, they fit nicely.  Not to mention I'm practically swimming in my husbands fraternity sweatshirt... which is nice and comfy.  My belly used to pudge out of it a bit - but it's quite roomy now.  Smiley face!

So... there's good and bads this week... I just wish I didn't have to fight my mental demons so I could see the up side of things better and easier.  I wish I didn't struggle everyday with my own mind that I could see things clearly.  I wish I could see that losing 77lbs in 5 months is a wonderful, positive thing, but I only look at the stalls and the things I should have done better.  It's a down day, that's for sure... I think, today, I'll walk to pick up the boys from school.  Some fresh air will be nice!

Take care, friends!!